Jenny talks about being real and knowing that no one is a perfect parent. No one, as much as they try and make it look, has it all together. We all have "those days". And most importantly just getting over the guilt of feeling like you aren't as good as those you know who seem to have it all together.
What sparked this blog post was this:
How do we fix this? We get real with each other! We quit pretending that life’s all roses, we let people really see inside our lives and we support each other in our collective imperfection.
Yes! One thing that sets midwifery apart from medical care is that there is more postpartum care. We don't catch the baby and say, "See you in six weeks!!!" There is contact between the us at least six times in the first six weeks (24 hours, 72 hours, one week, two weeks, four weeks, six weeks; more if there are other issues i.e. breastfeeding help). Most potential clients ask about our postpartum care. One thing we tell them is by four and six weeks, most parents are in the groove of the new normal and breastfeeding is going well. Those appointments are more for Mom. We make sure she is coping well with her new normal.
But most importantly it is a safe place for her to talk. A safe place for her to be able to admit that sometimes being a Mom sucks. We nod and say, "Yes, sometimes it does. But you know what? It gets better! Not all days are tough."
Many times those tough days are the result of our little ones growing and learning. They are processing their feelings, emotions, and learning how to cope with it all. It's not a plot that your little one has upon waking to make Mommy's day horrible! But as they are learning and communicating their frustrations (sometimes through whining all day or crying at the drop of a hat or bickering with siblings...just to name a few) it can result in very stressful times as a mother!
What is important to remember is that even though we have the tough days, we still see our children as a blessing. We don't moan and gripe and complain and wish for another life. We are mature and are able to, in a healthy way, talk to our husbands and/or other mothers and say, "Today really sucked!!!" Yes, it's healthy to admit that. There is nothing wrong with desiring time alone and to have it. But it's not healthy to muddle through the hard days with discontent and grumbling about your child(ren).
Phillipians 4: 10-14
10 I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned but had no opportunity to show it. 11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do this through Him who gives me strength. 14 Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles.
10 I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned but had no opportunity to show it. 11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do this through Him who gives me strength. 14 Yet it was good of you to share in my troubles.
No, Paul wasn't talking about parenting. Yes, we can apply it to our mothering. It is a fine balance, this admitting it's hard but walking through it with grace and peace (as best as we can as imperfect humans). Some days can seem never ending and mentally exhausting. And sometimes it's more than one day in a row!! Find someone you can talk to and share together your frustrations.
Then let it go. Take a deep breath, pray, and be content in the fact that tomorrow is a new day.
2 comments:
Thank you for this. I really needed to read this today. I *just* posted about my own struggles today and your post was exactly what I needed.
One of my mantras, which I've had since long before I became a mom, is "Tomorrow is a new morning." We definitely all have those days. Thanks for the encouragement and validation of those feelings!
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