My Life

Finally Friday!

So this morning was quite eventful. Matthew woke up at 6:30am. The lady that looks over the self-checkout at WalMart accused me of scanning a coupon and then hiding it in my purse. And at CoOp I suceeded to offend someone (maybe two?) who was advocating the marital teachings of Michael and Debi Pearl (well, namely Mrs Pearl since she is the author of the marriage book). A weird swelling/bruise has come up in my upper left inner thigh but I have an appointment in the morning to get it looked at. The highlight of my day would be the Grande Cafe Mocha I had this morning.

Oh what was that you ask about me offending someone? Ah yes...the Pearls. Well...when I walk out into a hallway (after overhearing a conversation about them (being the Pearls) a few moments earlier and when I know this person was aware of my feelings about the Pearls) and this person, who is talking to another person at this point, and as I walk back through their conversation stops and they glance at me, staying quiet until I re-enter the room I came out of....I figure that's pretty obivous. And one must say, how mature to gossip behind my back (and I'll give the benefit of the doubt here and say that yes, I could be totally wrong), if that is what was happening, and not confront me personally. Very grown up of you.

So let's discuss the Pearl's. The Pearls have a "ministry" titled "No Greater Joy". Mr. Pearl looks sweet there on the site doesn't he? Let's look for a moment at a section of their website teaching us about "The Rod":

Questions Answered

"Please give me a description of the switch or rod of which you so often speak. I wish you could send me one so I could see it."
"The rod we speak of is a plumbing supply line that can be bought at any hardware store or large department store. It is a slim, flexible, plastic tubing that supplies water to sinks, and toilets. Ask for "¼ inch supply line." They cost less than one dollar. I always give myself one swat before I swat the child to remind myself how much force to exert. It stings the skin without bruising or damaging tissue. It’s a real attention-getter. Michael demonstrates its use in our new Seminar videos."

Butterflies and Backdoors
*As you read remember to take note that the child he writes about is not his child.*

Explain to me please how treating a 2yo (regardless of the fact that it's your child but evenmoreso if it IS your own child) is being Jesus to them? How is that teaching them the grace and love of Jesus? How is that being a reflection of Christ? I don't recall reading one story in the Bible where, when Christ was on the Earth, that He tried to force HIS will onto anyone, let alone a child. I don't recall reading one single story in the Bible where Christ has forced HIS will onto anyone or anywhere that he physically harms us to teach us a lesson.

Now tell me, how does it make sense that we, as reflections of Him and as parents commanded to teach our children about the love and grace of the Father should physically harm our children to teach them to obey our authority?

Now....marriage. For your reading pleasure (well....not sure it will be a pleasure):

Abusive Husband

I will gladly admit that I believe that anyone can be changed by God's grace and mercy. I will agree with Mrs Pearl in that.

What I do not agree with is making a woman in an abusive or adulterous relationship think that it is HER fault. That if she had prayed more, if she had smiled more, if she had cared for her husband more, if she had been a better Christian wife then none of this would have happened.

And even more than that, I violently disagree with this statement from Mr Pearl regarding a father molesting his children and what the wife should do:
But if your husband has sexually molested the children, you should approach him with it. If he is truly repentant (not just exposed) and is willing to seek counseling, you may feel comfortable giving him an opportunity to prove himself, as long as you know the children are safe. If there is any thought that they are not safe, or if he is not repentant and willing to seek help, then go to the law and have him arrested. Stick by him, but testify against him in court. Have him do about 10 to 20 years, and by the time he gets out, you will have raised the kids, and you can be waiting for him with open arms of forgiveness and restitution. Will this glorify God? Forever. You ask, "What if he doesn’t repent even then?" Then you will be rewarded in heaven equal to the martyrs, and God will have something to rub in the Devil’s face. God hates divorce—always, forever, regardless, without exception.

I am sorry but if my husband were to ever touch my children in that way, there is no way in hell that I am going to stick by him. There is no way in hell that I am going to write him love letters while he's sitting in prison for beating me (if that doesn't make sense then you need to actually click on the link above and read what Mrs Pearl says about that situation).

Yes, let's advocate Mrs. Pearl's marriage book to young mothers.

If you would like to read more about the Pearls and other research that has been done about their writings...here ya go:
http://www.newsobserver.com/102/story/418676.html - A child is dead because his parents followed the Pearls' teachings.

http://www.newsobserver.com/100/story/434403.html

If you still think the Pearls are sharing valuable information with society, read a bit more.
http://stoptherod.net/ttuac.html
http://www.benedictionblogson.com/?p=2458


So there ya go. Do I feel bad that I might have offended someone today? Not really. I'm not offended by their viewpoint, just saddened that they choose to base their thoughts about marriage on these teachings (and I pray that there aren't children being parented with the teachings of the Pearls). I hope that it causes them to question what they are reading. If not, that's fine. We agree to disagree. If this person is offended (and of course this is just an assumption I am making based on observing the behavior of one person) and can't bring themself to come to me personally about the issue (as another person in the room did do and hopefully she understands my viewpoint even if we don't agree), I think that is very sad.

There isn't a one-size-fits-all parenting theory or marriage manual...other than the Bible. For those issues that the Bible doesn't outline in black and white, I strive to reflect the Father to my children and husband. On parenting issues I choose to reflect his grace and mercy while gently training them. On marriage issues I choose to love my husband and if he ever were to harm me or my children, I will reflect Christ to my children by protecting them.