Weaning...me or him?

A while ago I was thinking about how my son is going to need to nurse this afternoon or in the morning. He hasn't since Sunday and my body is letting me know!! ;)

Then I started thinking about how lately he hasn't signed "milk" after putting on his pjs like he used to. And how he'll go to bed without his "I need milkies first" protest. Which lead me to realize that he could probably wean without much prompting at all. I don't plan on purposefully weaning any time soon. I will nurse him until he is completely done. It's just the thought of that time quickly approaching that gets me.

At first that made me thankful...knowing that the transition is completely his own and not hard on him. About 1 second later sadness set in. How in the world did we go from this:

To this in just 19 short months?

And that small part of me is there that just isn't ready to end that part of my life. I'm no longer the sole source of his survival. He loves crackers, M&Ms, juice, cheese....and milkies. His face still lights up and he giggles if I ask him, before bed, if he wants milkies. But there are those nights where he goes right to bed without nursing. Some days when he's been climbing all over everything and YELLING "MAMA!!!" at me all day, I will admit it's a relief to just get him to bed. And I'm thankful he goes to bed so well. But then there are the nights where he snuggles in my lap, grabs my breast like a baby bottle, and immediately gets that far off milk-drunk look in his eye as he stares up at me. Those are the times I just can't imagine that once he is weaned, I will never ever ever nurse a baby again.

So this time, is a weaning process for him or me? I think perhaps it will be more for me.